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Friday, December 3, 2010

Coach the Leafs??? Are you High???

Behold, folks.

Proof that The Great White North is not as true, strong and free as it once was. Recently, the Canadian Senate has passed a law regarding marijuana; specifically, those surrounding growers. In BC, it was anything up to 200 plants would lead to a fine, and anything more could lead to jail time. Now, thanks to Stevie Hapless and his Conservatocracy, a mere 5 plants leads to a mandatory prison term. This is part of a larger Crime Bill, known as S-10 (check out the full story here.)

Now, I'm not a big smoker, and, objectively, I don't know enough about politics to really have my opinion gain any merit. What I do know, however, is the times when they are indeed a-changin'. Harper has had the War On Drugs torch handed to him via the Americans, and now that a softy Democrat is in power in the South (who has smoked pot! Shock! Horror!), he is the sole guardian of family values and the American Way. Were it not for a small geographical problem, he's probably Joe Republican's wet dream, right down to the dead eyes. These new laws are a perfect example of the Conservatives muscling in on something just because they can. And while I may not smoke, I know a fair few people that do (in Whistler! I know, right?).

Steve, if you're going to make this the new rule, at the very least have a provincial vote. A vote is kind of like a referendum, except you might not lose your job. Then, at least we have a say in your little toy chest. Look at it this way. You know who would vote for 200 plants over 5 plants? Stoners. That's who. The last thing they want to do is get up off the couch (Spongebob won't watch itself after all) and fill in a box. And for God's sake, don't dissolve Parliament again. It shows weakness.

In Other News, I have had possibly the best idea of the year. It was inspired by the lacklustre performance the Toronto Maple Leafs put in against the Ottawa Senators last week. Actually, in general recently now that I think of it. And by recently, I guess I mean the last 40 or so years. But, my idea.

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that there are 5 million Leafs fans in Canada (35mil population divided by 6 Canadian teams, with the extra 5 million either American fans or not interested in hockey at all.) There are 82 games in the regular season. If we could get a contest going, where ANYONE with an idea on what the team is doing wrong could put their name in a hat (a very big hat) to earn a chance to coach a game. The whole thing. Obviously Ron Wilson would be there to organize line changes, be angry, etc., but in terms of tactics and general gameplay, one armchair critic right at Wilson's side every game. A quick calculation of the above hypothetical stats tells you that there are almost 61000 potential coaches per game. I'll say that again. PER GAME! And let's face it, it's not like we have a whole lot to lose!

Anyway, that's my new idea. Tell me what you think.

Oh yeah, and it's snowing like crazy up here.


By The Way: I am totally into B-movies right now. I already extolled the virtues of Machete a few posts back, but Werewolf in a Women's Prison and Ninja Cheerleaders are exactly as awful - and as awesome - as they sound.

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