Saturday, June 13, 2009

Poor Poor Detroit

I should start this entry by apologising for my tardiness. Its been almost 6 weeks since my last entry and I feel I have let my subscribers down. Both of them. (Hi Bry and Bree!)

Anyway.

So the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup. That's pretty awesome. A team that for years was destined for the chop has beaten the odds with the help of a 21 year old captain, who is, based on both the amount of women at the bar cheering for the Pens and also the interviewing of said women, is "f**king hot, but he needs to shave."
Playoff 'beards' aside, it disgust me when people jump on the bandwagon at the best of times, but when that many women who don't know the names of ANY other player on Pittsburgh's side, it amazes me how much they are geared toward sex. Think about THAT guys, the next time you get caught watching beach volleyball. They can watch it to see legs and ass, why can't we?

But, the point of this post is to commiserate with Detroit. Not as a team (though they started off strong, they couldn't keep the pressure, and their last ditch effort was a classic example of 'too little, too late') but as a city. They were first known as motor city, then as the birthplace of Motown. Well, the latter has all but died off - the term "black music" now refers more to gangstas of the lowest common denominator like 50 cent, or soulful bullshit a la Chris "Rihanna-Bashing" Brown or Ush "I'm-a-tool-but-I-can-dance" er.
As for the cars... the less said the better.

Due to the economy's collapse (hadn't you heard?) combined with the coming clean of the Big Three Auto companies - specifically, that they couldn't afford to buy the coffee for their employees, much less compete with an ever growing Eastern market that makes cheaper, more efficient cars - Detroit has imploded, with 1/3 of its inhabitants unemployed, and the rest just moving away. The average price for a house in Motorless City as of 3 days ago...





11,553.
Dollars.

For a f**king house.

You can buy a decent Ford for that... (too soon?)

Back to the matter at hand. The Cup was all these people had going for them. Good hardworking, blue-collar, salt of the earth people, who LOVE their hockey like fat kids love deep fried cheese, and whose only shred of hope was Chelios, Osgood, and the rest kicking some nu-skool Pen ass. Now what? I can all but guarantee that the old timer Red wings will retire. Chelios is 48, for God's sake. He was playing pro hockey in 1981. Think about it. That's right, most of us know people YOUNGER THAN THE DETROIT CAPTAIN'S CAREER! Therefore, the steelworkers who grew up with these guys will most certainly lose faith in their fair city. I weep for another team, like the islanders a few years ago, who lost their real hockey fans and not the fans who were wearing diapers 20 years ago.

By The Way: A man who strives to learn everything about physics is a genius. A man who strives to learn everything about architecture is a visionary. A man who strives to learn everything about music, art, or wine is a snob. Discuss.
Website of the week: textsfromlastnight.com is as good as it sounds.

No comments:

Post a Comment